Types of Power

Power is not a fixed or inherently negative force. Instead, how we choose to use power—whether to control, collaborate, or uplift—determines whether it becomes a tool for oppression or liberation.

Rollo May, an influential existential psychologist, deeply explored the concept of power and its effects on our lives, relationships, and sense of self. His ideas about power weren’t limited to dominance or control; instead, he delved into the nuances of how power shapes human existence. May introduced three distinct types of power—”power over,” “power with,” and “power for”—each with its own implications for how we engage with the world and one another. Understanding these forms of power can illuminate not only our interpersonal dynamics but also our pathways to personal growth and fulfillment.

“Power Over”: Domination and Control

“Power over” refers to the type of power where one individual exerts dominance or control over another. This is the traditional, hierarchical understanding of power that we often see in societal structures, workplaces, and even personal relationships. It’s about using authority or force to influence others, often at their expense.

May saw “power over” as inherently limiting and potentially destructive. While it may create a sense of control, it is often accompanied by fear, resentment, or disconnection. This kind of power positions others as objects to be manipulated rather than as human beings with their own agency. The one who holds power becomes isolated in their dominance, and the one who is subjected to this power can feel oppressed, diminishing their capacity for self-expression and growth. In short, “power over” limits authentic connection and, ultimately, growth for both parties, and for broader communities.

“Power With”: Collaboration and Mutual Empowerment

In contrast, May’s concept of “power with” is rooted in collaboration and shared responsibility. This form of power emerges when we work together toward a common goal, respecting each other’s perspectives, and uplifting each other in the process. Rather than competing for dominance, “power with” is about mutual empowerment—acknowledging that true strength arises from cooperation and trust.

“Power with” fosters deeper connections because it’s based on empathy, understanding, and reciprocity. Each person in the relationship or group recognizes that we all have something valuable to contribute and that our growth is intertwined with the growth of others. In this sense, “power with” breaks down the barriers created by “power over” and allows for collective empowerment, emotional safety, and mutual growth. It’s the type of power that builds communities, nurtures relationships, and encourages personal development in ways that are more sustainable and fulfilling.

“Power For”: Empowering Others

The third concept, “power for,” expands the idea of power beyond self-interest. “Power for” refers to using our power or influence to advocate for and empower others. This form of power is often seen in leadership rooted in service, activism, or mentorship, where the goal is to uplift those who may not have the resources or opportunity to assert their own power.

In “power for,” there is an intentional act of selflessness—channeling personal strength or privilege not to dominate or even collaborate but to support and empower others for their own sake. Rollo May saw this as one of the most constructive uses of power because it focuses on creating spaces where others can flourish and realize their potential. By using power to elevate others, we foster equality, autonomy, and the collective well-being of society.

Why These Forms of Power Matter

Understanding these three types of power—”power over,” “power with,” and “power for”—can dramatically shift how we approach our relationships, work, and sense of self. In a world that often prioritizes dominance and control, learning to embrace “power with” and “power for” allows us to cultivate healthier dynamics.

• “Power over” breeds disconnection and can lead to toxic relationships, whether personal or professional.

• “Power with” encourages trust, collaboration, and mutual growth, creating environments where everyone feels safe, respected, and capable of thriving together.

• “Power for” helps us step outside of ourselves to support the empowerment of others, creating a ripple effect of growth, opportunity, and equity.

These concepts remind us that power is not a fixed or inherently negative force. Instead, how we choose to use power—whether to control, collaborate, or uplift—determines whether it becomes a tool for oppression or liberation.

Conclusion

Rollo May’s ideas of power challenge us to rethink our traditional notions of dominance and control. By understanding the differences between “power over,” “power with,” and “power for,” we can make conscious choices in our relationships and communities that lead to greater empowerment, connection, and growth. Whether through mutual collaboration or empowering others, we learn that the most meaningful power is not about asserting control, but about fostering environments where everyone can flourish.

If you’re interested in leaning into “power with”, check out my Soul Circle virtual therapy workshop for women in California. This safe space cultivates mutual empathy and empowerment, and opportunity to experience the power of healing connection with other supportive women. I hope you’ll join us sometime soon!

-Kaci Smith, LMFT