Often a partner of a narcissist is a narcissist attractor, but may not realize it until they’ve attracted more than one narcissist. They may have a narcissist in their family of origin, but not always, and not all children of narcissists end up with one. Not all partners of narcissists were raised in unhappy families.
People who grew up loving and trusting their parents are also susceptible because they expect others to be loving and trustworthy. Thus, they are less guarded and naive to narcissistic manipulative tactics.
Similarly, it’s untrue that narcissists look for weak, vulnerable partners.
It’s a person’s personality and behavior that attracts a narcissist. They look for certain qualities that feed their narcissistic supply – someone who has these traits:
- An empathetic, supportive listener.
- An accommodator – someone who would rather please and follow than lead.
- Someone attractive, successful, wealthy, or talented who enhances the narcissist’s self-esteem or lifestyle.
- Someone who admires them and who won’t compete with them.
- Someone non-confrontational, who avoids conflict and doesn’t express strong opinions or tell them that they’re wrong.
- Someone without strong boundaries. Narcissists dislike hearing “no.”
- Someone looking for a hero. This is usually the result of past trauma. They enjoy making you dependent …
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